This is just for fun – take a break and share your thoughts with us. Have you traveled overseas recently? What did you like, and what were you glad to leave behind? Here’s my list.

Things I won’t miss in Europe.

• Toilets. I can’t say any more except that I was in four countries during this trip and it never got any better.
• Weather. I think they ration sunshine in order to drive more people into their bezillion museums. (There’s one on every corner.) But maybe all that green landscape is worth it.
• Heavy coins. They have destroyed most of their forests (like we have) and maybe they just don’t have enough paper. If so, they ought to make their coins mostly aluminum or tin like ours.
• Driving on the wrong side of the road. If I try to get in a car at the driver’s seat one more time, just slap me. I spent a whole day on a tour bus and never realized that the guy talking was also driving the bus. I thought it was the other gent, who apparently was just along for the ride.
• Bread, butter, cheese, and shortbread. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. My bad – I OD’d.
• Prices. Is it the exchange rate or is it just me?

 Things I will miss about Europe.

• Architecture. Inspiring and amazing buildings everywhere you look, from ancient to modern.
• Cafes and pubs. It’s not the food and drink, but the social nature of life: people taking time for conversation and refreshment with friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers.
• Walking. Those who know my history of bad falls know I never take walking for granted. I also live in a very suburban neighborhood with rather boring scenery. So being able to walk in such beautiful places was a double treat.
• Small book shops. I’m sure there aren’t as many as there used to be, but their continued presence in Europe underscores our own loss.
• Cathedrals. I like big churches better than museums. I love to light candles and offer prayers. There are no answers but my mind is always calmed for a brief time afterward.
• My dear friend, Lucie. We’ve been separated for 26 years now, but every couple of years, we can see each other, as we did on this trip. In the early years, there was no Facebook, no email, and no cheap international phone rates. Sometimes, we miss reading those thin blue airmail letters. But mostly we’re grateful for the many improvements in communication “across the pond.”

Through lack of planning and technology roadblocks, I wasn’t able to properly engage with my blog and Facebook communities during a recent trip. And I missed all of you!

Before leaving the U.S., I purchased international data plans for my iPhone and iPad. The prices were reasonable for the first 25 MB, but horribly expensive for anything after that. So days before the trip, I unsubscribed to more than a dozen email lists to limit what I would download. But I was surprised by how many more kept cropping up. (This is an ongoing issue.) I also tried to remind myself to turn off data roaming when I wasn’t accessing the web, but I wasn’t always successful.

And of course, I tried many hotel, café, train, and airport wifi services. Two observations: 1) They are not always easy to connect to. 2) For the most part, they are painfully slow. For example, it was impossible for me to upload a video to Facebook while in Scotland and London using wifi. Even clipping the video didn’t work.

In addition to feeling bandwidth-impaired, I found that while my various devices were great in their own way, they were basically useless together. For example, I never got in the rhythm of synching up the Notes and Kindle apps on the iPad and iPhone so that content would be available on either device. Sometimes even Gmail didn’t synch up properly, so I had to delete unwanted emails again when accessing them on another device. (Sometimes emails didn’t go out, either.) And, of course, there was no way to get photos from my camera onto my iPad without going through DropBox and risking having to pay huge extra data charges for the uploads.

I didn’t attempt to blog, even though I had pledged to myself that I would. I’d already found that using the WordPress dashboard on the iPad is frustrating. (I really need more practice in blogging on the go.) But more importantly, I was just not thinking or acting in a professional capacity until my last day in Edinburgh, when I visited the Writer’s Museum. Hopefully that will result in a decent blog soon.

All-in-all, I was feeling rather lame until I began composing this blog on the flight home. And I started to get excited about engaging with you all again. Which reminds me, I still need to learn more about you. If you’ve never commented before, leave a quick note about who you are and whether you have your own Facebook business page and/or blog I should check out.

As always, thanks for being here, and on Facebook, Twitter, G+, and Pinterest.

P.S. Last year, I took a different view of vacation and had an interesting outcome for my social media sites: [unplugging:  an experiment]

Have you ever been rickrolled? Can you generate memes? Do you download mashups? Don’t worry if none of this makes sense. It just means you’re old.

Everything I know about fun on the Internet, I learned from my kids.

One of my twenty-something daughters lives with me. She’s is a geek, and loves to show me what younger people like to do online. I selected some common and (mostly) innocuous ideas to share with you non-Millennials. If I have any Millennial readers, I’m sure you’ll be amused by my naïveté.

It all started with 4chan.

I learned about 4chan at SXSW Interactive last year when I heard a talk by its founder. 4chan is the Wild, Wild West of the Internet. It claims to be a “simple image-based bulletin board where anyone can post comments and share images,” but it’s more like the badass daddy of Pinterest. It’s a place where you need a rule like this:

Do not post the following outside of /b/: Trolls, flames, racism, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases, macro image replies, indecipherable text (example: “lol u tk him 2da bar|?”), anthropomorphic (“furry”), grotesque (“guro”), or loli/shota p-rn-graphy.

I wanted to look up “loli/shota” but was afraid to enter the search term on Google, and even changed the spelling of the last word in the above sentence. (What a dork, right?) Anyway, according to Wikipedia:

The site’s “Random” board is by far its most popular and notorious feature. Known as “/b/”, there are minimal rules on posted content. Gawker once jokingly claimed that “reading /b/ will melt your brain”.

I’m guessing that one visit to 4chan may be all you ever need.

Rickrolling is passé now, but you have to know what it is.

Again, Wikipedia knows everything:

Rickrolling is an Internet meme involving the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song “Never Gonna Give You Up“. The meme is a bait and switch; a person provides a hyperlink seemingly relevant to the topic at hand, but actually leads to Astley’s video. The link can be masked or obfuscated in some manner so that the user cannot determine the true destination of the link without clicking. Persons led to the music video are said to have been rickrolled.

Here is one of the most famous rickrolls of all time:

Even the president is not immune from this phenomenon: BarackRoll. You can also check out this infographic summing up the glorious history of the rickroll: http://bit.ly/oxyuOhblog/rickrolling/

However, I got a warning from my daughter: “Most people don’t think it’s funny anymore. But it’s just such a part of the fabric of the internet that not knowing puts one at risk.” At risk! Did you hear that? You can thank me in the comments below.

Memes are everywhere—especially now that Pinterest is so popular.

A meme is:

an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture.

According to my resident expert, almost every meme you see originated on 4chan and millions of them are now circulating on Pinterest, Facebook, and other channels. The image at the top of this blog is one example of a popular meme, “Socially Awkward Penguin.” Memes start with one creative individual and then people create millions of variations on that theme. The image to the left is another example that might be more familiar.

If you need an explanation of a popular meme—or just need a laugh—go to the site knowyourmeme.com. If you’re feeling clever and want to make your own version of a meme, go to memegenerator.net. If you do, and the image is squeaky clean (!), please share it on my Facebook page.

Song mashups violate copyright but they just can’t be stopped.

Mashups, or “sound collages,”  are unlikely combinations of two songs in one recording. My daughter found this “boss” article about  the history of the mashup. While mashups used to be made and sold, she says: “It’s pretty much impossible to make money off of mashups these days because of the legal fees to get the rights to all works, so they are now made for live performance by DJs and available for free downloads as promos.”

Some of the most popular mashups involve the song “Barbra Streisand” by Duck Sauce. (Warning: party footage in that link. You’ll see what I mean. But I want that big chair.) As an example, check out this mashup with “Vogue” by Madonna. And here are a two more selections from the site SoundCloud:

http://bit.ly/hUaj0Lmixessss/the-beatles-jackson-five-vs

http://bit.ly/hUaj0Lmixessss20/lady-gaga-vs-madonna-express

Lastly, a  special treat: you can insert your own name into the Duck Sauce song at this site. Here’s a version with my name, though God only knows why they’re pronouncing it in German. Enjoy!

What do you do for fun on the Internet? Besides hanging out on boring old Facebook and Pinterest!

Image credit: imgflip.com

Low Context Communication Style

Based on the number of answers in each column, each person assesses where they are on a scale of 1 to 6, with 1 being very high context and 6 being very low context. Eric then asks everyone in the room to sort themselves into a horseshoe pattern with the ones and the sixes at each end.

It’s fascinating to see who ends up in which positions. I’ve done this twice now and noticed that more people in leadership positions end up in the 1-3 range. Also, more people of color and people from non-dominant cultures (those who are not White/Western European descent) are in the 4-6 range. More Whites end up in the 1-3 range. (If you’d like to learn more about how culture relates to the concepts of high- and low-context communication styles, consider reading one of Eric’s books.)

How do we bridge the gap between these communication styles?

This takes practice. This takes years. You have to really commit to it. But Eric gave us some basic recommendations:

• Take some time to learn about who is at the table before moving into any serious work.
• Remember to invite people who have not contributed to speak, then listen closely and respectfully.
• Consider using caucauses (breakout groups) so that people of the same cultures, backgrounds, or even genders can discuss issues before you open up discussion in the larger group.
• Try your best to utilize both styles of communication. When appropriate, encourage relational thinking in order to create a positive “context” for the work (high context), while at the same time keeping your tasks on track (low context).

I surprised myself by ending up in the 4.5 range. Where are you?

Image credit: EDV Media Director in flickr

Recently, a client asked me to edit a very personal essay written by his wife. Here’s how I tried to rise to the challenge and become a kinder, gentler editor.

This story was about someone’s intimate thoughts and experiences.

I know how to get to the heart of a product or business story, but working with material this personal and emotional was daunting. Correcting grammar would be easy; she made very few mistakes. But style? When someone pours out their heart to you in a conversation, you never say, “Oh, you could have said that better.” Or, “Wait. That thought doesn’t really connect to the previous one.” How would I politely say things like that on paper to an inexperienced writer?

Empathy helps. So does calculated restraint.

I’m an empathetic reader. When reading a first-person narrative, I hear a voice in my head and see that person talking to me. (BTW, I am usually widely off-the-mark in my made-up images of authors and other personalities. It’s so amusing when I finally see a photo of that person.)

I could relate to this writer’s experiences and tried to put that before my editorial instincts. I decided changes had to be absolutely necessary because something was patently incorrect, very unclear, or just unnecessary or not impactful. Of course, the only way to confirm this was to re-read the entire essay out loud. I actually did it like a dramatic reading–and it was enjoyable.

Also, in a stroke of inspiration, I changed the options in MS Word’s Track Changes feature, so that no corrections would appear in red. It seemed a lot friendlier!

This experience made me realize something very important about editing.

The real purpose is not to push the editor’s idea of correct or compelling writing, but to show possible areas of improvement and spur the writer to do her own best work.

Here was the writer’s response, which brought a smile to my face:

I SO appreciate your editing on my essay! As a fledgling writer, it’s such a great help to see how good editing works. Your kind words were such a boost to my resolve to get the essay published.

Writer friends: do you write or edit personal stories? If you’re a writer, how do you like to be edited? If you’re an editor, what are your methods and recommendations?

Image credit: This beautiful drawing is by Morgan LaRue.

Despite having what started as firm, and even rushed, schedules, several of my recent projects have drifted into a sort of purgatory. (Or do I mean limbo?) Is there really a double standard for freelancers and clients when it comes to deadlines?

The short answer is “yes.”

I always expect to be held accountable for deadlines. I ask for a schedule up-front. If one isn’t available, I ask for an end-date and try to work out my own milestones. I used to think that my ability to meet deadlines was something that clients prized above all else. But that world-view is changing, fast.

Flexibility seems to be more important than meeting deadlines.

The truth is that many, if not most, of my clients don’t meet their deadlines. It’s not for lack of trying. These are dedicated, accountable, and professional people. What is working against their ability to stick to a schedule?

The obvious reason is that they are over-worked and have too many projects to run. Also, the pace of business (for-profit or non-profit) has picked up, and things tend to change faster and more often. And I’ve noticed a tendency to seek wider consensus, as if people are more tentative about decision-making. Have you noticed this? I’ve had to deal with more eleventh-hour comments—and even complete redirects—from previously uninvolved people than ever before.

The worst case, however, is when there is NO end date.

I actually don’t like to hear, “Let’s just get this done whenever we can,” or, “Why don’t we just shoot for (some date not tied to any other event).”  Everyone should have a calendar of marketing activities on which every project has a place.  Also, projects that are not on a schedule tend to drag on and on. For a freelancer, than means a longer period with little or no pay, because most of us bill from 50-100% upon completion. Extended schedules are a cash flow nightmare.

What’s a freelancer to do?

Excellent client service is still the prime directive. I have to stay flexible and keep a good attitude. It also helps to believe that every change or redirect happens for a good reason—that even a comment out of left field can prompt some good thinking that will improve the outcome.

But from a business perspective, I also have to know when to say “enough is enough.”

I’ve done it rarely, but I always keep this possibility open—I can stop the project, ask for fair pay for the work done to date, and ask the client to re-assess the need and come back to me when he or she is ready to start over or start again.

What’s your thinking, or recent experience, on keeping schedules?

So you’re not rich! If you give anything to charity–time, talent, or treasure–you still call yourself a philanthropist. And it might be time to change your mindset about giving.

“Making your giving matter more.”

These ideas come from Laura Arrillaga Andreeson, who just published a new book about democratizing philanthropy, called Giving 2.0. She spoke at a recent luncheon of the Silicon Valley Chapter of the Association of Fundraising Professionals.

Laura comes from a family with a long history of philanthropy and interest in social change. And she believes that the concept of “philanthropist” is ripe to be democratized. It should no longer belong to an elite class of wealthy people. Laura wants it to belong to the 99% as well as the 1%.

The meaning of “philanthropy” is love, not money. (The Greek word is philanthrōpía: “love for mankind.”) Laura believes that the only thing you need to become a philanthropist is generosity and a special moment in which you feel called to give. How much you give is not what’s important. I loved this statement she made:

“If your gift matters to you, it will matter to others.”

Laura also showed us some amazing statistics.

Of the $290 billion or so given to charity last year in the U.S., $235 billion was given by individuals. People like you and me. And research has shown that in terms of relative value, low-income people give a larger percentage of their assets.

Laura also talked about the value of time and talent. She said that last year, 63 million people in the U.S. gave time and energy to nonprofits that added up to 8.1 billion hours or about $170 billion in additional value.

Laura begged us—as I’m sure she does at all of her speaking engagements—to please keep it up. She cited these statistics:

• Worldwide, 2.6 billion people live on less than $2 a day and don’t have access to basic sanitation.
• Last year, 1 in 6 Americans lived in poverty.
• Every 26 seconds an American student drops out of high school, which means he or she is not eligible for 90 % of all jobs. In fact, 1.2 million students will drop out this year.
• Locally, in Silicon Valley, 1 in 4 children lives in poverty.

Sympathy will only carry us so far.

Thinking about these horrifying realities prompted Laura to think about ways to make our giving matter more. She suggests that we treat our philanthropic contributions like investments and give them the same attention we give our for-profit investments, like our stock purchases and retirement accounts. She says we should be more proactive in our giving—which means to let it express our own concerns, values, and passions. She contrasts this with reactive giving, such as when you see a sad child’s face on the TV and send a few dollars on impulse.

Emotions such as guilt or fear won’t lead us to make lasting change. Instead, if we are passionate about who and what we support, and approach our contributions strategically, we will have a great impact—especially if we pool our resources with others who as passionate about the same issues.

Lastly, here’s why giving matters so much to us, personally.

Laura says:

“What we do for other people defines who we are.”

What do you think about giving? How do you decide which causes to support?

P.S. After composing this blog, I came across an interesting article on the same subject by the Nonprofit Quarterly. This is much more academic and detailed, and will probably appeal more to those of you working in philanthropy.

Image credit: golden zebra on flickr.

Recently, I read a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Princess Jones Curtis, in which she exhorted us to join the Freelancers  Union. Here’s why I took her suggestion.

Walking in Dad’s footsteps

After reading the post, I realized that my dad was a freelancer who belonged to a union. Somehow I just never made that connection before. Ever humble, he used to call himself a “ditch digger,” although he was in fact an entrepreneur who operated a backhoe. He hired himself out to construction firms around the San Francisco Bay Area.

He joined the Operating Engineers Local 3 for a number of reasons, one of which was health benefits. Without the union, we might not have had medical care. And because of a birth  defect, I needed open heart surgery when I was five.  I love the story of how he went around to union meetings and coffee shops recruiting his friends and fellow construction workers to give blood for my surgery.

The union was also a source of professional pride and a place to network. And believe me, networking is just as important in construction as it is in any white collar job. In those days, union membership was an advantage, and maybe even a necessity for getting onto a job site.

Are you a “worker”?

I have a degree in economics and my favorite subject was labor history. I was in college in the late 70s when the power and prestige of unions were already beginning to wane. My husband and I actually met in a labor history class and formed a bond because we were two of the only students to volunteer to be on the side of the union in mock contract negotiations. Most of our fellow students were disdainful of organized labor. Several told us that they were going to become managers, so they had no interest in representing the union. I guess they were just there to learn how to beat ‘em.

Did you get that? These 20-year-olds were convinced that they would never be “workers.” They would just go straight into management and stay there forever. Today’s 20-year-olds know better.

This happened at the same time I was learning that decent conditions we take for granted in the workplace, from safety to medical benefits to common respect and dignity, were largely outcomes of the struggles of workers and their unions. And that applies to managers as well as the rank and file. I don’t want to discount other struggles such as the woman’s movement, and I don’t want to pretend that workplaces don’t still have problems, but we all owe unions a huge debt regardless of our political views or our ideas about their current failings.

Years ago, I did join the National Writers Union but I let my membership lapse. So Princess’ blog post was a wake-up call. I chose the freelance life and at times, I have had to support a family that way. It’s not easy. We do need each other for a lot of reasons, including health benefits and mutual support.

What three things would I not know about you just from looking at you? We’re always told that first impressions count, but it’s a lot better to keep an open mind.

Last month, I wrote about guidelines for respectful communication, based on the ideas of Eric H. F. Law of the Kaleidoscope Institute, which is dedicated to fostering “competent leadership in a diverse, changing world.” In the workshop I attended that was led by Eric, he asked us to write down three important things about ourselves that no one would be able to guess just by looking at us.

Here are my three things. 

Here are three random items that I thought of today.

1. I was raised in Oakland, California and am a graduate of the Oakland public schools.
2. I have had open heart surgery.
3. I am a grandmother.

If I told you those three things when you first met me in person, what kind of impression would you form about me? What if you saw these things in writing but never saw me or a photo of me?

First impressions are usually based on your own background and experiences, not true observations of the other person. 

Eric explained that we have a strong cultural tendency to think about other people from our own frame of reference. We “universalize our own experience” and use that lens to judge others. And we can frequently be wrong–not just after the first meeting, but even as we get to know someone. It takes a conscious effort to truly discover someone without judging, categorizing, and–ultimately–diminishing them.

Instead, we need to cultivate a “culture of curiosity and acceptance.”

Recently, Liz Strauss, the excellent, inpsiring founder of Successful Blog, wrote about getting a second chance at first impressions. This note came in an email newsletter, and I can’t find an online link, so I’ll just reproduce it here:

One of the reasons this topic seems important is that we are “meeting” more people than ever online. We are forming impressions of them based on photos and little tidbits of information on social networks. Do you think this is helping or hurting our ability to understand individuals? Or do we even need to, if we are just looking to be entertained or informed by them?

What are your three things? Share them–and any other thoughts you might have–in the comments. I’d love to know more about you. 

 Image credit: From an interesting article about first impressions at Futurity. org.

You need to log off of Facebook more often now and here is why. This is serious.